De-lurking

Dec. 27th, 2018 08:53 am
cowboyguy: (brian dear lj)
It has been entirely too long since I've posted anything on any of my blogs. Or written any fic. Or done anything online in general besides lurking and trying desperately to catch up with things in general.

But it's just been an incredibly busy fall/winter. I had a lot of family things going on, I bought a home, I've been working on getting all packed up and moving. And oh yeah, Thanksgiving and Christmas and holiday parties and hanging out with friends and family and buying presents and making food and paying bills and staying alive and everything has just been... a lot.

I didn't finish NaNoWriMo for the first time in about ten years because I ran out of time to write. And even when I did have time to write, I couldn't think of anything I wanted to write about because my brain was so busy with other things. That made me kind of sad, but I had to let it go because it was making me more miserable to be falling further and further behind and knowing that every day it was getting harder to catch up.

We're near the end of the year, and I'm working on regaining control of my life, establishing new habits, re-evaluating what I want and how I want to do it.

All this to say, one of the things I'd like to get better at is being more present online, but learning how to manage that with real life and balance it out so I don't feel guilty for not being online enough or not catching every conversation or social media thing or whatever. I need to figure out how to balance myself.

So for starters, I'm gonna go take a shower and figure out what I need to be doing today! And hopefully I will be back sooner rather than later this time.

De-lurking

Mar. 27th, 2018 09:09 am
cowboyguy: (brian dear lj)
I feel like I've been in extreme lurk mode lately. I haven't been writing a lot, I haven't been posting, I haven't been reading. I've been trying to understand tumblr randomly scrolling through tumblr and reading stuff on AO3 sometimes.

I don't know. Part of it is from being generally busy. Part of it is from being depressed. Part of it is just feeling that "fandom is changing" feeling, and I want to go back to the days of all Livejournal, where I felt more like I understood things and could keep up.

Lately I just feel overwhelmed. With work. With life. With all the books I need/want to read. With trying to set and keep personal goals. With fandom in general.

Anyway, surprise surprise, I'm still busy and now I have to cut this short because I need to get to work, but basically just de-lurking to say that I'm still alive and I'm hoping I get it together soon and start being more active.

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